stealing the moon
by gunslinger21
Summary: a mashup of the movie despicable me marvelized. contains doc strange, astrid blake,daredevil, the shepunisher ironman, spiderman. loki, nick fury, maria hill, and the hulk...sort of hulkie anyway. lol. please review! id love to hear what you think! good bad, ugly, fuzzy, FUZZIER, and sticky from something you might have gotten into in tonys lab...
1. Chapter 1: despicable me!

deep in the deserts of new york the great and amazing avengers tower stands tall. the day is alive with tourists eager to see the fabled home of their beloved heros. but the inevitable happens, a young boy, a stupid tourist accidentally discovers a dark truth about the tower. stumbling upon t by accident he realizes its merely a blow up replica...

* * *

astrid blake is out enjoyinmg the sunshine of another beautiful day in new york. doing her usual: window shopping, crushing little childrens hopes and dreams with balloons and needles, freeze raying people for the heck of it, and just generally wreaking havoc and being villainous. like i said earlier, its a beautiful day. making her way out of the cafe she hops into her flying car and rockets back to home sweet home. on a bright and nice street her house is the only one that rain clouds perpetually hover above. the eyesore of the neighborhood, it has all the classic characteristics a villains house should: run down, dark, and ominous looking in a haunted skeleton in the basement sort of way. her neighbor is outside landscaping his already immaculate front lawn.

"morning astrid!" he calls.

"hello, fred." astrid rolls her eyes. " fyi your... _DOG,_" astrids accent is thick as she leans against his white picket fence. "has been leaving lettle prezentz in my yard. and i dont appreciate it." fred laughs lightly. grinning as usual.

"sorry. you know dogs they go wherever they want to go." he waves it off carelessly.

"unless there dead." now its astrids turn to laugh lightly at her neighbors dumbstruck face. "have a nice day."

* * *

"heeeloooooo!" theres a rap on the door and astrid grumbling goes to answer it. "guns for sale!" a young boys voice announces. astrid peers out through the peephole and sees three little children. the eldest being the one to speak, looks about eleven and is dressed in red leather with little horns on his head to complete his get up. the second oldest another boy of about nine is also dressed in red but in this case its spandex and hes dangling upside down from the roof. the youngest a little girl of about three totes a large ak47 thats nearly bigger than herself as she smiles up at the world in general. shes dressed in baggy black pants atleast three sizes too big for her and a black skull shirt. she appears to be singing some little tune. not a very nice one. astrid realizes when she hears the lyrics.

"goi away! im not home." she yells at them.

"yes you are! i heard you!" the boy in red leather announces. the boy in red spandex leaps at the yehole and sticks his tongue out making a face as he plasters his face against astrids peephole. jerking back astrid gives a start of suprise.

"no! you... didnt. this..." astrids brow furrows concentrating on a good excuse. her voce changes to a low monotonous tone. "is a recording."

"no it isnt." the boy in red leather counters.

"yes it is." astrid replies firmly. "leave a message. BEEP." the little guy in red spandex gives the door a final kick before he and the boy in red leather stalk off. the little girl stays in front of the door a moment longer.

"goodbye f***ing recorded message." she says sweetly.

"gypsy cmon!" the man in red leather calls after her. gypsy trots off after her friends. sighing heavily astrid heads back into her house. where she is bombrded by her wolf pet. before she can react the creature latches onto her hand and bites down hard.

"BAD DOG! BAD DOG!" she screams furiously trying to wrenchher hand out of its fangs. hank mccoys face appears on the screen.

"astrid?" he asks. astrid quits struggling with her pet and straightens.

"ah dr mccoy!" she smiles innocently... too innocently.

"i know ho you must be feeling. but youll aways be one of the best to me astrid!" astrids look turns to one of confusion as she tries to decipher the hidden meaning behind his random speech.

"what? what happened?"

"it was all over the news! some guy just stole avengers tower! there saying he makes all other villains look... lame." the last part he admits in a sadder lower tone. his fuzzy blue features turning down in dismay at having to relay this message to his boss. astrids face switches slowly, disappontment and slight shock, then determination she straightens easily throwing the wolf off her arm wth a swift whip of her arm.

"ASSEMBLE ZE HULKLINGS!" she announces striding out of her room.

* * *

once in her sectret layer deep in the basement of her house. the hulkings are already furiously assembling. laughing as usual as they all make their way to the meeting hall from various sectors of the basements lair. astrid is on the stage as she addresses her hulklings. she greets a few and then quickly gets right to the point.

"now i realize zat a vew of you have a-ready heard ov zis villin who haz ztolen ze tower apparently itz a BIG DEAL." she emphasizes big deal with obvious mockery and a roll of her eyes. she has a plan up her sleeve and nobody is going to steal her supreme place of villainous awesomeness from her! NOBODY!

"... am i upzet? no!...well maybe a lettle bit but we have had pretty good year ourzelvez. what did we do?! well... we stole THE SHIELD PLASMA SCREENS!" her hulklings go wild as lights flash and sparks fly. "BUT THATS NOT ALL!" she announces with obvious glee at the crowd of hulklings excitement. "WE STOLE IRON MANS SUIT!" more wild cheers. "...ze fake one from party city." she adds. the hulklings all sigh disappointedly.

"AND I WONT EVEN MENTION CAPTAIN AMERICAS SHIELD!" two hulklings wheel the red white and blue american icon in. "...also party city." she frowns slightly looking at it but turning back to the crowd she offers up a devious smile.

"but..." she starts her grin growing villainously. "i have been working on zomezing VERY BIG!" she throws her hands to the air emphasizing her point. "zomezing zat will blow dis avengers tower thing out of ze water! and... thanks to my good friend doctor mccoy," the beast basks in the praise of the hulklings for a rare moment.

"pleeeze calm down. NOW! we have located a magic dampener and we... will have ze ability..." there barely contained excitement in the crowd as astrid lowers her voice and everyones breathing shallows eager to hear her next words. "we will pull off ze crime of ze zebtury... we are going... to... steal... ZE ZORCEROR ZUPREME!" her words ring out through the auditorium. and applause erupts like a tidal wave. anything is possible is the blooming thought in your heart and in your mind its the idea of regaining your spot as THE. ULTIMATE. BADASS. VILLAIN.


	2. Chapter 2: plan in progress

"oh! peter! stop it!" matt reprimanded as peter jumped in yet another puddle. splashing matt and little gypsy who tightly clung to his hand. the three children were walking home after a long day of selling guns and all three were tired and worn out.

"what?!" peter shot back. "im just walking." peter stuck his tongue out at matts back as matt turned away and kept walking. at long last the three orphans arrived at their destination. 'lokis house for heros' manager: loki lafeyson.

"hi mr loki! were back!" they all three announced cheerfully in unison. loki slowly spun around in his chair turning to them with an air of condescension. he smiled too sweetly.

"hello boys and...girl."

"did anybody come to adopt us while we were gone?" gypsy asked struggling to see over the edge of the desk and standing on her tippytoes to make her small sture the inch or two taller it made her.

"hmmm... let me think..." loki smiled and pretended to give the question thought for a moment. then he leabed forward slamming his open pal onto the desk. "NO!" he yelled. peter stepped forward and webbed to the ceiling where he dangled upside down bove the headmasters head.

"peter? what are you doing?"

"dangling." peter rolled his eyes. "you blind? didnt think it was contagious but maybe matt gave it to you."

"peter..." loki started. "youre never going to get adopted you know that dont you?" little peter dropped to the ground and sighed.

"yes sir." he admitted staring at a spot on the floor.

"good. so how did it go today? did we meet our _quotas?_" loki raised his eyeborows folding his long thin fingers together in front of him elbows placed on the desk. young daredevil offered up a hesitant shrug.

"well... sorta," he looked down at his clipboard. "we sold forty three machine guns, thirty semi automatic pistols, and eighteen snipers." matt folded his hands behind himself and offered up a smile. loki heaved a sigh leaning back in his chair and then standing up as he reached for his scepter. he twirled it carelessly in his grasp as he headed around the desk.

"you sa that like its a great thing." he was calm but all three knew it was the calm before the imminent storm. they froze lined up in front of lokis desk.

""LOOK AT MY FACE!" he yelled leaning close to the three horrified children. "DOES IT SOUND LIKE A GOOD THING?!" he demanded angrily. the three were silent. knowing better than to speak and possibly enrage the asgardian more.

"i think... we can do better than that. dont you?" he was smiling and his tone was even but his eyes glinted dangerously.

"yeah. we wouldnt want to spend the weekend in thors bathroom now would we?" the three turned and even with the door closed to that place of horrors they could still smell the putrid scent emanating from behind its closed doors. such was the punishment for the few who failed to meet their quotas.

"no mr loki." they chimed in dismally. loki smiled brightly.

"okay good! now off you go! go steal something for me." the three headed out of the office and in passing stopped before the doors of the bathroom.

"hi janet." the greeted their friend trapped inside those four walls. the wasp peered at them through a sall crack in the woodwn door.

"hi guys." she replied sadly as the three headed back to their room for the night.

* * *

later in her flying car astrids phone rang.

"hello mom sorry i meant to call but..." her voice trailed off. a a loss for a good excuse. on the other end astrids mom placed her hand atop the punching bag to stop its swinging and held her cell with her free hand.

"i just wanted to congratulate you on stealing ze tower." astrid sighed heaily. running a hand through her blond hair. "zat waz you wasnt it?" her mom countered. "or waz it a villain whos _actually_ successful?" she laughed to herself knowing the answer. astrid would NEVER be a successful villain. shed always known this. this was an ITYS moment if mrs blake ever had seen one.

"just so you know mom," astrid replied evenly. "i am working on something big. very big. very portant! when you hear about it, you are going to be very proud!" she nodded to herself enforcing her words even though her mother couldnt see her.

"ha! good luck with THAT! okay... im outta here." ending the call her mother went back to her martial arts training. growling to herself astrid landed her car and headed into SHIELD hq. where she could get the necesary funds for her newest expedition: capturing the sorceror suprme! once she got into the inner sanctum she headed down the long hallway.

"astrid blake to see director fury." she announced at the front desk.

"yes... pleae have a seat." maria hill gesured off to the side as she continued to ype away on her computer.

* * *

years and years ago... back before the dark age... before dirt was invented... before the concept of inventing was invented... okay yeah anyway a LONG time ago...

_little astrid at the age of about five was seated on the living room floor wearing thors cloak of destiny relly just a red sheet that was old and slightly stained as sh watched the avengers for the first time. with her eyes glued to the tv screen she announced with glee: "ma! im going to be a hero when i grow up!"_

_"im afraid you cant do that. they already have heroes. youre just a little girl."_

_later..._

_"ma!" astrid announced. "look its a picture of me marrying a superhero painted with watercolrs!" she held up a lovely painting with pride. her ma glanced at it briefly._

_"eh," she shrugged and urned away. astrids face fell._

_later..._

_"ma! look what i wrote! its a nine hundred page book about me and my superhero!" sh held up the thick novel with pride._

_"eh," her mom went back to her magazine._

astrid keely remembered all those times shed been rebuffed but now it was her chance. her chance to show her mom! shed show the world! shed show everybody! astrid blake WAS and IS the best supervillain this world was ever gonna see! shed prove it! she looke down at her blueprint with pride. she just needed a small itty bitty loan and that soreceror would be hers. all hers. she smiled to herself.

astrid was abruptly jolted out of her musings as a young man slid up beside her.

"hey!" he smiled easily. looking over her shoulder at her blueprint she was studying. "im applying for a new villain loan go by the name of IRON MAN!" he announced gesturing with his hands and accidentally bumping astrid in her side just as she slid away to the opposite end of the bench.

"creep." she muttered inder her breath returning to her blueprint and plans.

"thats a awesomaical term for awesome. which is, me of course." seeing that shed managed to scoot the farthest possible distance from him on the bench he leapt up and plunked himself back down beside her.

"IRONMAN! THATS ME!" he grinned and layed his hand across her shoulder. "because im AWESOME!" he leapt up and dd a little jig while cheering for himself.

"check out my newest armor!" he extended his hands and the metal flew out of nowhere and encased himinside its metal shell. "ever seen this before? no you havent i invented it. do you want a demonstration?" without waiting for a response he fired his repulsor ras at the wall but neglected to take into account the many MIRRORS in the place. the beam of energy bounced off the first mirror and into thenext richoceting around the room haphazardly at high speeds. until it finally collided with none other than the ironman himself it blasted him into the far wall just as maria hill called astrid forward. astrids eyes were wide as she abandoned the ironman in the hole in the wall hed just caused. he rubbed his head as he picked himself up out of the rubble.

* * *

"so all i need," astrid explained patiently striding back and forth in front of the director of SHIELDS desk. "is money from \the bank. to get an iron man suit and then the sorceror is ours. if i have an ironman suit i can get close to the sorceror AND be able to tote his body back to my evil super bad-ass lair." the director cleared his throat.

"well. vety nice presentation." he started "id like to see this magic dampener"

"aahhhbsolutely!" astrid offered up a crooked grin. the director leaned forward.

"you dont have it! AND YET you have THE AUDACITY! to ask the bank FOR MONEY!" he growled out his features twisted in unmistakable annoyane.

"apparently." astrid admitted meekly. the director stood up.

"do you have ANY IDEA what the bank has invested in your tomfoolery? when so few of your 'sinister' plots actually turn out? how can i put it?" he considered then looked up at the clock on the wall. "lets say that clock is you," he pulled ut his pistol and cocked it. "if we dont start getting our money back..." he pulled the trigger aiming it straight at the cliock meeting its mark the glass shattered and the clock fell to pieces.

"get the picture?" astrid gulped and nodded nervously. "look astrid the point is there are a lot of new villains out there, stronger than you, hungrier than you, stranger than you. like that fellow out there! IRON MAN! he just stole avengers tower!" astrids jw dropped at the realization. for a moment she was dumbstruck.

"okay okay... so... as far as getting money for the iron man suit goes..."

"get the magic dampener. THEN well talk."

* * *

before leaving astrids features curled in pure rage as she set her sights on the iron man she pylled out her freeze ray and before he even knew what was coming froze his head. he leaned then clattered to the floor. then on a more happy note she left.


	3. Chapter 3:magic begon-inator

top secret research facility... somewhere in the great unknown.

hank pym, known to the world as antman was conductig a curious experiment with a few of his colleagues.

"the purpose of this ray," he placed a hand atop the odd looking machine as he introduced his latest invention. ""is to prevent magic. the user simply has to aim it at the subject and the effects of the magic are dampened so to speak hence the name, until the wizard is rezapped therefore reversing the process. so far i have yet to know exactly how LONG this dampener will work for but that is what this experiment is for. now!" he clapped his hands together as the test subject strode into the room.

"name please?"

"phillip larketttes" he pronounced thickly the voie of an obvious otherworlder. a sorceror that he was he was really the only one to agree to this nonsense. he raised himself easily up off the ground and hovered with his arms crossed

"our subject here has agreed to be the first human subject for use o try this on, so without further ado letsbegin." hank flipped a switch and picked up the device that looked oddly like a gun when it was held. he waited a few moments as a green glowing orb of light formed at the tip of the ray as though it were warming up it swelled and got darker and darker then hank pulled the trigger and in a blast of light it erupted and engulfed the man. when the glaring glow receded the crowd looked on in awe.

just as they were coming to realize the experiment had worked and larkettes was demonstrating how he couldnt use his powers a loud whirring noise filled the room and after its subsidization mission impossible music filled their ears.

"what the hell?!" hank muttered as a miniature hulk dropped through the hole in the ceiling and grabbed the magic dampener. laughing as he and the machine were pulled back up. but before he made it out he was zapped by a different gun and his itty bitty green form was hurled across the room.

"coulson!" astrid screamed from inside the jet. but it was already too late she secured the dampener and tok off like a bat outta hell.

"who are you working for?!" hank demanded discarding his smoking weapon and leaning over the abandoned itty bitty hulkling.

"HULK SMASH!" his high squeaky voice erupted as he commenced to 'smash' the antmans feet.

"ow!" hank leapt back grabbing his throbbing foot just as the hulkling raised his fist to 'smash' again.

* * *

"yutta dinkda colsda betty ritta?" wesley asked astrid.

"yeah dont worry about the little guy. i have a feeling hell be _just fine._" she laughed. "we got it!" she was laughing with wesey about their success when sparks began to fly and whirring came from the back row. spinning around in her seat while continuing to pilot her car she was just in time to see a large claw grab her magic dampener!

"what?! hey! hey you sick little bastard!" she yelled but was already too late. when the offensive thief pulled up alongside her she saw it was none other than the infamous ironman himself laughing heartily at her expense.

"YOU!" she yelled stabbing an accusatory finger at him as he clutched his prize in his gauntleted fingers and then blasted off with barely a wave.

""QUICK!" astrid cried applying more speed. ""were going to catch that little son of a bitch if its the last thing we do!"

"woohoooo!" wesley hulkling cried throwing his green fists to the air in excirement of the chase.

"up ahead! up ahead!" astrid cried as they came back into his sights and she set her targets on his flying suit. "FIRE!" she cried. the hulkling laughed giddily at his second favorite orders coming right after 'smash!' which of course was his favorite. he grabbed the handles and pressed the red buttons down. laughing like a crazed hulkling on steroids (which he basically was) as the vibration caused his tiny form to bounce up and down. the ironman easily glided out of the line of fire dodging their bullets with abvious control. astrid gritted her teeth as he applied more pressure to his blasters. but she was already too ate to catch him. in a horriic explosion of sound he blasted off into oblivion leaving astrid and wesley in the smoke of his trail.

"this aint over."astrid muttered. "wesley," she hissed. "black button. play the immenint supervillain revenge music." wesley smiled widely and complied. the music pulsated through the car with its dark rsonating unspoken promise as astrid glared out the window at the spot shed last seen the ironman disappear at. _oh yes it isnt over! oh yes indeed..._

"_**oh christmas tree! oh christmas tree!**_" the music switched when wesley bumped a second button.

"wesley! quick shut it off!" wesley fumbled for a moment muttering unintelliglbel hulkliese under his squeaky breath. finally he found the button but it was too late to save astrids badass villain momemt. unfortunately. astrid smiled wryly to herself.


	4. Chapter 4: three little heros

"God? will you pretty please give us a mommy and daddy that loves us? and that own a machine gun theyll let me play with." she quickly added. gypsy was kneeling on her bed. her little girl chubby hands folded together in prayer her two brothers in the beds beside her.

"yeah," peter darted a glance at his sister out of a half closed eye as he picked up the prayer. "and let them not be aliens or rabid or plain creepy." he nodded to himself. "oh! and let the have both their eyes cuz i heard one eyed parents like to suck your brains out like jelloooo. vwoop!" to emphasize this he added his own personal soundeffects. matt elbowed him roughly and gypsy squealed burrowing under the covers.

"thankyou God for keeping us all safe and healthy, thankyou that we have each other, that we have a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, and most importantly love. Amen." mtt finished slid out of his bed and gently tucked gypsy into hers.

"do parents with missing eyes really suck out-"

"no." matt interrupted her firmly answering her question before sje finished. gypsy yawned cracking her jaw in the process. the boy pulled the covers tighter around her as her eyes started to close.

"night matty."

"night gypsy."

"hey gypsy you know i was just joking aboput-" peter started

"shut up." matt shot a blind death glare in peters direction. "and go to sleep." peter grumbled unintelligibly but heeded his seniors orders. matt flipped off the lights and flopped into his own bed.

"oooh," gypsy yawned. "i looo-ve machine guns. blasting out...yawn...bad guys bra-ains... we will fi-ight to their death... cuz i lo-ove machine guns... that blast out bad guys... yawn... brains..." her voice trailed off as she slipped off to sleep.

* * *

**tony starks home...**

astrid WAS going to get that magic dampener! even if it was the last thing she did. and the ironman safe inside the walls of his fortress was having a ball. astrid tried scaling the wall... tony laughing instructed jarvis to blast the supervillain to oblivion. he took another sip of his drink. at this point he wasnt even sure what it was he just knew it was alhohol. good enough for him. meanwhile astrid picked herself up off the ground gingerly surveying her injuries and rubbing a spot on the back of her head. she groaned then determinedly stood up and tried the next plan. every plan was the same. after getting sliced, fried to a crisp, banged, bonked, hurled, and just plain blasted astrid was sitting in the debris of the latest explosion when she saw three small children walk up to the entrance of stark tower. laughing to herself she layed low and prepared to watch there imminent fate.

"hello?" matt started as he cautiously felt every ;aser beam boring down on them. "we are heros from lokis home for orphan heros..."

"dont caaaaaare!" tony sang out.

"cmon! were selling weapons! so...ya know we can have a brighter future!"

"oh! ooooh! wait! do you have rk47s?!"

"um yeah." in reply the gates swung open and the three strode in as astrid watched in shock. _if only..._ she thought to herself a [plan was forming... a super badass villain plan... that might ACTUALLY work...

"LIGHT. BULB." quickly whipping out her cell she dialed beast. "dr mccoy! i am going to need a dozen tiny robots, disguised as bullets!"

"what?"

"BULLETS! DISGUISED AS BULLETS!"

"wha?who is this?"

"oh forget it!" she slammed her cell shut. and laughed meniacally.

* * *

"weeeeeeeell... it does appear that you have successfully cleared our backround check." loki offered staring the woman downcoldly as he looked over the information on the screen before him. astrid offered up a crooked smile. "DR blake... oh it seems you have compiled a list of some pf your personal acheivements," the asgardian spoke with more than evident disdain.

back at his evil badass lair...

"hmmmmmm... HULKIE DULKUH SMASINAZI! RTFYUIIII... CADAKARDAT?! DAH... JIGGULITIMINIGASTRAFRESTINESS... KATRE!" coulson hulkiling typed away furiously on the computer creatong his bosses backround history. he was having WAY too much fun.

at lokis home for heros...

"and i see you have been given the medal of honorable villany... and _KNIGHTHOOD?_"

back at the evil badass lair...

"um... jaka liki smashix...?" coulson turned to his colleagues the question dyig on his lips half spoken. a half a dozen green fists shot into the air and cries of "smka piosf!" ensued. coulson consisidered it seemed he was stuck. writers block he thought they called it.

"giifdinre." he pointed a green hand towards wesley.

"bacfidio!" wesley trumpeted.

"AH! backfidio!" coulson gleefully continued to type.

back at lokis home for heros...

"you had your own reality tv show?" loki raised an eyebrow. obviously not impressed nor was he beliving this bs for a minute. he was much more than unconvinced. as the god of mishcief he knew how these things went and he was certain astrids resume was not truthful but at the same time he was always up for a good prank. so long as he wasnt the butt of the prank. he hoped, for astrids sake, that he wasnt. his eyebrows lowered dangerously as he continued to survey the resume.

"and you can hold your breath for thirty seconds. thats not. that impressive."

back at the badass lair...

coulson looked to wesley for help. wesley didnt hesitate he shoved the hulkiling off the chair and seated himself in it, furiously beginning to type away.

"idiot." he muttered with a chuckle. one of the few words that was the same in hulkless as it was in english. coulson leapt back up shoving the other hulkilig aside and quickly typing in his two cents. angered wesley shoved him back banging the hulklings face into the keyboard.

"fight! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" the hulklings cried as the two wrestled and punched while typing away.

back at lokis home for heros...

"what in the name..." loki peered closer at the screen as random characters popped up in apparent jibberish "of odins sleep is this? what?" his forhead creased as he frowned in evident confusion. astrid shifted nervously in her seat beginning to second guess the ideac of putting her minions in charge of creating her resume. no matter how much she koved them she knew that probably hadnt been her brightest idea... she needed a distraction and fast!

"weeeeeell... heres the dealio, things have been SOOOO lonely since..." think think think! "my..." cmon astrid girl! "... _husband!_ mark! passed on," she looked off to the side partly for inspiration partly because she was hoping it looked epic and tragic when loki saw her face from a side angle.

"its like... my heart is a sandwich but..." her eyes started to tear up draatically. "the sandwich doesnt have any mayo on it and it canonly be filled with orphaned heros." her hand formed a fist as though even now she was clutching her sandwichy heartvand she was barely making it woithout her mayo. her face pinched together in despair. loki looked down at her unimpressed he leaned back in his chair boredly. noticng this tactic was unsuccessful astrid straightened.

"you are SUCH a handsome man," astrid purred her eyes widening innocently pale blond lashes fluttering delicately. "you remind me of someone..." she began. "someone great and powerful." loki raised one eyebrow running a long thin finger through his black hair. and waited for her to continue. slightly encouraged astrid smiled brightly.

"you must be a ruler somewhere. am i right? with that scepter and your..." she searched for soething _anything_ she could compliment hoim on. "sparkling i bet you have million of adoring fans."

"actually, i am quite popular in my own right." loki admitted proudly.

"yes! i knew it! welll... anyway can we proceeed with this adoption? I am SOOOO excited." loki chucklied lightly. astrid thought he quite resembled a cat. right now he looked like the chesire cat grinning stupidly, before his coldness was the perfect cat syndrome as well sly and slinky and indifferent.

"please send matthew, peter and gypsy to my office." loki said in reply pagaing the staff.

* * *

squealing with joy the three heros began packing their supplies.

"i bet the dad is amazing!" peter exclaimed. "and he loves to create stuff, hes an inventor!"

"the mom is proabably amazing and she loves gymnastics and will teach us all tricks." matt shoved more clothes into suitcases.

"i bet the own a whole warehouse full of gear and armor and MACHINE GUNS!" gypsy clasped her little hands together in glee. matt and peter glanced over at the girl with the meniacal light in her eyes. it was on the tip of peters tongue to crack some joke but one look from his brother and he was silenced.

"aaaaw," gypsy lamented picking a small orange thing up off the floor. "my caterpillar never turned into a butterfwy."

"thats a cheeto." peter informed her bluntly.

"oh." gypsy shrugged and popped it into her moutgh. she crunched happily.

* * *

"well," loki chuckled to himself. "i bet mark was a very lucky man."

"mark? whos mark?" astrid looked at him in complete confusion.

"your HUSBAND." loki frowned. "OH! hello children!" loki smiled as the dpor creaked open and the three headed inside. astrid stood up and slowly turned around. the three dropped their suitcases and waited for the shock to register. the woman in front of them... was none other than that villain. theyd heardabout her. she wasnt very successful at her villany but still... three heroes being adopted by... by a _villain?_ it was peposterous!

"children, meet your new mother, astrid blake. she is going to adopt you!" loki smiled glad to be rid of the three troublemakers. astrid lifted her hand in front of her face struggling to make out the writing on her palm.

"heeeellllooo... ugh... matthew." she smiled down at the eldest boy recognizing him for the little red hons on his head. then she squinted at the next name.

"argh... who writes like this?!" she muttered angrily to herself under her breath. oh wait she wrote that. "helllooo peter!" she smiled warmly down at the next boy he raised his eyebrows but didnt comment on her conspiciousity.

"and monkey." she gingerly patted gypsys head. growling at the contact gypsys claws surfaced and she reached for astrids face. astrid leapt back and matt put a restraining hand on the little girls arm just in time. then gypsy giggled girlishly and leapt towards astrid. astrid didnt run fast enough and gypsys arms circled around her calf where she clung on tightly despite astrids efforts to shake her off.

"ugh... hi." matt offered obviously not convinced by the woman. maybe he couldnt see but he could feel and what he was feeling from this chic was not good news.

"i got your leg!" gypsy cried gleefully. "i got your leg!"

"okay thats good. can we possibly..." she tried to pry the toddlers arms off unsuccessfully. "let go now?" frowning beneath a fake smile she keenly remembered why shed never wanted kids. theyd get n the way of badass plans. but it was the only way. she needed these three.

"cmon. you can let go. its my leg just realese your grip. is there a command?! some kind of nonstick spray?!" she shook gently then more roughly. the girl would NOT come off. finally astrid resigned herself to the legg vise nd strode out of the hpuse the other two children following behind.


	5. Chapter 5: meet the moon (isnt he hot?)

stephen strange, the sorceror supreme was in his office. his large mansion was another magical misconception in that outwardly it appeared small but inside the labrynth of ever changing twisting hallways, endless corridors, and spacious rooms for all mannner of purposes, made it quite large indeed. now the sorceror concentrated. he sensed the disturbance since sometime this morning but more pressing threats had engaged his mind so that hed left the smaller disturbance on the backburner. now that his mind was free he realized just how wrong he was about the disturbance. with his eyes closed he launched his spirit onto the astral plane.

...

"oookay here we are home sweet home," astrid drawled sarcastically as she leapt out of her flying vehicle and the three heros-in-the-making followed her to the elongated front door.

"this... is your house?" peter inquired with a mix of incredulity, awe and disgust as he surveyed thegly 'home sweet home'. astrid didnt reply as she smirked to herself and went to unlock the front door.

"wait.. a second! youre the girlwho pretended to be an answering machine!" matt exploded as the sounds their voices and the other noises of the day brought the silhouette of the hulking home to his senses. he defietely remembered this place.

"no... that was someone else." astrid replied coollly, stabbing the correct key into the lock and pushing open the door with a horrific squeak. it was just like she had said-home sweet home. dropping her backpack by the door and tossing her keys onto a warpd looking coffee table she commenced to head into the living room. the three children just needed one glance at the plce around them to confirm their doubts.

"ca i hold your hand?" gypsy reached up her fingers towards astrids.

"nope." astrid darted a glance down at the monkey child as they approached the living room. as they neared the wolfs terrotiory they heard a low growl emanating from around the crner. before she could react properly astrid was accosted by her pet.

"back! get back!" she grabbed items to throw at him as she inched to a spot behind the three. atleast if he was THAT hungry hed eat them first and she could get away. undettered by the vases and empty picture frames the olf came closer. hackles raised lips pulled back in an unmistakable snarl.

...

once the sorceror was out of the safety of his ome he was accosted by the spirit. before he could defend himself it... or what appeared to be a she placed a single long bony finger on his shoulder. for amillisecond the world spun and then he found himself in the middle of nowhere. literally his feet were desert sands that stretched as far as he could see with no signs of anything but the creature in front of him. her red eyes rested on him.

"so we finally meet. im known as karsis." her long gray fingers moved in a swift swipe and two chairs appeared. the sorceror took a moment to survey the threat before him. she was beautiful in a dangerous glittering eyes way. she wore a short red dress and her soft blck curls blew in a wind that was lost on him. the only thing that didnt match were her hands, old, bony, and a decaying grey color. nails that were once long and red were cracked and worn down. these were not her hands of that he was certain. or maybe they had been at one point in time. she took a seat tilting her chin to indicate him to do the same.

"youre probably wondering why i brought you here." her red lips curled into a vicious smile. "sit down please." she waited for him to comply the sorceror immediately came to realize any magic he tried was lost on her and he wasnt yet sure how to get out of here. taking the wrong exit could result in landing yourself in oblivion. flying through the tunnels of space and time was decidely not on the sorcerors bucket list... for today anyway.

"who are you?" his cold gray eyes held her gaze.

"my darling im karsis. havent i i troduced myself previously?" she laughed lightly but when he didnt flinch she emitted a soft sigh. "names arent everything are they. you are a smart boy arent you? karsis is only one of my names. my real name is too precious to rest on midgardian tongues." this she stated with obvoious disdain. "i might as well tell you about mordu. hes helped me to become as i am now. a simple trade and ive become even more powerful. i much prefer to rule this lovely place not either in or out of earth than ruining my lovely shoes on midgards tainted soil. but i did try that for a bit aswell. it didnt suit me. enough introductions though. i might aswell tell you why youre here. my creatures are currently heading to midgard. this time i WILL conquer. and now that your out of the way no one can stop me. itll be beautiful." her eyes looked straight through him as though even now she was down there glorying in her creation.

"one factor you didnt factor into your equation..." he stood up hands raised just sightly palms facing the sun. "IM never out of the way."

...

"WHAT IS THAT?!" matt demanded glaring at where astrids breathing gave her away.

"a.. dog wolf hybrid...?" she offered tentatively as the hulking creature approached yet closer.

"FLUFFY PUPPY!" gypsy squealed as she darted past matts restraining arm and rushed towards the creature. squealing the wolfs eyes enlarged to saucers at the sight if the girl with the outstretched hands approaching him. he spun around and darted off with a whimper. matt turned to astrid with accusation in hia hard voice. his friends lives had almost been comprimised because of her freaky pet.

"wow." peter breathed as he walked slowly away. this place was amazing. so many cool things to touch. thongs he wasnt supposed to touch, which made it all the more intruiging to the young spiderman.

...

breaking through the demons visage was the hardest part. the sorceror gathered all his energy even as hhe felt her sapping it straight from him. not only was she stealing his powers with her own strength he felt his very life seeping out of him. falling to his knees he emmitted a strangled coughing sound. he sunk his fingers into the sand but there was nothing tangible to grasp. he concentrated on everything left in him though all he could hear was her laugh; light and mockng shaking through every fibre of his being. in one last effort of strength he raised his hand not to blast her but to blast something beyiod her. the last thing he saw was her smile slip for just a second and then the world spun.


End file.
